Monday, January 05, 2009

Does anyone really know what time it is?

I have too many calendars. There is the little one, complements of my hairdresser, I carry in my bag. There is the big one on my desk. There is one on my computer at work. I have two on Google (but I use only one). There is a paper version of my Yarn Harlot Page-a-Day and an online version of another Page-a-Day for words. NOW sent me a "Love Your Body" wall calendar that I think will stay at home. I gave my son the calendar NWF sends me every year (even though I have not contributed to them since 1999). Hey! Where is the calendar from the Smithsonian? I am a member, but maybe not in good standing.

I don't wear a watch because I just don't need to anymore. My computers at home and at work provide the time (and the date!), as do all my phones, including my cell. In the kitchen there is a clock on the stove, the microwave, the coffeemaker, and the wall. Another wall clock in the livingroom. A clock radio by my bed. The watch with the broken watchband is in the bathroom, to let me know if I am running late. Ditto the clock in the car. I have no excuse not to know what time it is.

When I was a kid, the 365 days between one xmas and the next seemed interminable. Now waiting a year for something is nothing. My only concern regarding the passing of time is whether my own passing will occur before I get the chance to enjoy my retirement.

I asked a friend of mine if her husband, having recently survived a near death experience, had reordered his priorities. She said that he did that after his first heart attack ten years ago, making time for his music, but this time he was a little puzzled over what he could do different. He still has to go to work, still has bills to pay and aging parents to look after and other responsibilities. Some EMT friends tell him, "You are so lucky to be alive - God must have a plan for you!" and his response is "But WHAT?!?"

If god has a plan for me, so far it involves sitting in a cubicle at work and cleaning up animal waste at home. I make time for yoga and knitting and gardening and spending time with family and friends, but I too still have to go to work and pay my bills. I still spend an inordinate amount of time sitting in my car and on the john. I still have to eat and sleep.

And time just keeps marching on.

Happy New Year.

1 comment:

flurrious said...

This reminds me of a line from To Kill a Mockingbird where Scout, talking about her childhood, says, "A day was 24 hours long, but seemed longer."

I think the saddest thing about getting older is accepting that certain things I wanted to do and thought I would do someday, I will most likely never do. It's not so much whether those things will actually happen or not; it's more about seeing fewer things as a possibility.