Wednesday, November 19, 2008

This Is Hard

Unfortunately for me, the Blogger blocker at work was not lifted for the month of November like it was last year, so I come home after a day on the computer to get on the computer to blog. Sometimes I email myself a possible blog post from work, but these are usually pretty lame (see yesterday's post) and feel stale when I reread them in the evening. But NaBloPoMo is more than half over. I can do this. Next year, however, maybe I will write a novel instead. At this point, it sounds easier.

My theme this month has been things I like, so I will pick an easy topic today and say this: I like my kids.

Yeah, you are thinking, what a no brainer. But really, while most parents love their kids, some of them don't like their kids all that well, especially when the kids are teens.

I am the first to admit the teen years were rough. There were a few painful moments when I regretted having children at all. But once those years were past, things got better. And better. And better. Not just because the kids grew up, but because I learned to relax a little and let go of my expectations of how I thought they should be and be living their lives.

One thing that helped me get through the teen years was to remind myself (over and over and over again) that this was their story, not mine; my job was to serve in a supporting role. I wish I had figured this out earlier, but I must have been a good enough parent because they are both doing fine, in their own ways, on their own schedule, by their own terms.

Losing my mother when I was 20 greatly influenced me, and it became important to me that my kids be independent. I still worry about them, but less so because they are capable of functioning without me. What is great about this is I can stop being a parent and just be Mom.

My daughter did not intend to wind up back here after college. While I would have supported her no matter where she wanted to live, I am glad she is close by. My son has made noises about moving back to the area, too, once he is done with school. I want him to do what is best for him, but I will not squawk if he too is near at hand.

My parenting work is done.

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