xmas is over

Contemplating resolutions, etc. this morning. Not to make, but just reflect on the idea in general. Everyday can be Day One of an improvement in one's life. Some improvements are a transformation but most are not.

• Took Clio on a token walk this morning, around the block. It was too cold for her feet. I didn't even bother trying with Watson.
• Finn was crabby - he kept asking to go out, but came right back in after about 30 seconds. Meanwhile, Beau was being a butt, attacking the dogs (*not* a good idea) and Finn who pinned him down for some punishing bites. 
• Put away the rest of the xmas decorations. How come, when you think they are all back in the closet, there is at least one item still lurking somewhere? It's like vacuuming pine needles - there are always some left in June. And stink bugs! Every so often, another one appears; yesterday one fell out of nowhere, into the dog's water bowl while I was filling it at the kitchen sink.
• Also ironed the xmas table linens and put them away. It's not often that I iron.
• Returned to knitting the never-ending baby blanket.
• Worked on the whatever that is on the 24" loom. It's been a weaving experiment that I think is finally coming to an end, except I ran out of yarn.
• Looked at my Blogger statistics for this blog. Today there was a huge spike in views, mostly from Russia. Hope they are amused.
• Started reading Future Home of the Living God, by Louise Erdrich. My first nit to pick is it is supposed to be a journal-like letter to the narrator's unborn child, but it reads like straight narrative with dates serving as chapter titles. I've heard both favorable and unfavorable things about this book, so I'll probably continue reading, to see for myself.
• Tried watching River, but it wasn't doing anything for me. Switched to Call the Midwife.
• While watching TV in the den, I heard a strange noise, like something cracking or crackling. I thought it was Beau but he wasn't out there. I looked and looked for whatever it was, found only a cracked outlet cover on an exterior wall. It's a mystery. In case it was due to the cold (and that room is colder than the rest of the house), I decided to up the furnace for the night. I can't wait for this cold snap to be over.
• House maintenance and repair is the one thing that will probably drive me out of my home and into a rental of some sort.

Happy New Year's Eve

Still cold. Ordinarily, during the winter, Finn makes repeated requests to go out, only to want back in after about 30 seconds; then he goes to another door, as if the weather is going to be different there. Yesterday I made him stay out with me while I shoveled snow. Today he is not even asking to go out.

• I made a deal with myself this morning that if I took the dogs on longish walks today, I can skip dog-walking the next two days. That's if the dangerous wind chill factor forecasts pan out. There's a full moon and a clear sky, so I'm expecting they will.
• Last night I was so physically tired I felt almost ill. Turned out the lights shortly after 9. When I think of how many decades I was basically inert because of my job and single parenting and general laziness, it amazes me.
• My SO and I decided to celebrate the New Year today, during the day, while we are still awake and alert. While the sense of a new beginning each new year brings is exciting to me, I don't feel the need to torture myself into staying awake until midnight.
• When I came home, around supper time, I was so famished I felt shaky. That is a rare thing, but when you reach seniorhood, every little quirk in one's physical or mental well being feels like the beginning of the end. One day, you are perfectly fine, the next day you're not.
• Usually I make at least a few resolutions this time of year, but I'm coming up blank for 2018. I could still lose weight and exercise more and keep house better and etc., but I am fairly content with where I am right now.
• Finished watching season 2 of Happy Valley. Will there be more? What should I watch next? River? Broadchurch? I'll check my Netflix queue.
• Good-bye, 2017. Don't let the screen door hit you on the way out.

Habits of the heart

Last night I took refuge in the three gems: the Buddha, the dharma, and the sangha. This annual ritual that involves some chanting and tying a red knotted string around one's wrist is as formal as my meditation group gets. I debated whether to do this, decided I would attend the session regardless, then went through with it. Right now my reaction is "meh".

Don't get me wrong. I will continue my meditation practice and attend sangha when I can, maybe even take in a retreat sometime. It's the ritual that leaves me unmoved. Too churchy, I guess.

(An interesting aside: Attendance last night was up. The first meeting of the year attracted some peripheral members who are not on the mailing list and who don't attend often enough to know what was planned. They were nonplussed to say the least.)

In The Barn at the End of the World, author Mary Rose O'Reilley spends a month at Plum Village, where someone addresses her struggle with the precepts by describing them not as commandments, but as "habits of the spirit". She also defines the precepts differently, making them more resonant with her life. I've done the same:

• To the best of my ability, I will develop the habit of compassion for all life.
• To the best of my ability, I will develop the habit of contentment and sharing.
• To the best of my ability, I will develop the habit of responsibility in all relationships.
• To the best of my ability, I will develop the habit of listening mindfully and speaking kindly.
• To the best of my ability, I will develop the habit of health.

These "goals" don't meet the criteria of SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-related). In fact, they are vague, loose, idealistic, cosmic, and open-ended. And that is okay. I know what they mean to me today; their intent may change with time and context. And that is okay, too.

Besides, the precepts are preferable to my usual resolutions of eat less, exercise more, and keep a cleaner house. And probably more achievable.

A resolution with a plan for 2015

When I retired from my job (which, by the way, I do NOT miss at all), I decided not to take on anything new for at least six months. That turned out to be a good thing, as the final remodeling of the house was underway and continued to be underway for what seemed like an eternity. Once that was complete, I settled into what I had planned to do all along during retirement. And very soon became a bit bored.

Not bored enough to find another job. One should never say "Never" but that is how I feel about having a conventional job. I can't imagine the kind of work that would draw me back to the labor force. But I do feel ready to rejoin the rest of the world.

A couple of semi-social opportunities have presented themselves of late. One is a group called the Wild Walkers. Twice a month they gather at a nature preserve of one kind or another and hike. The first gathering of the year is next week, so I'll find out more about what is what then.

In anticipation of becoming a Wild Walker, my SO and I joined the Resolution Reinforcement Hike at Kokiwanee Nature Preserve today. (The assumption is some people will make a resolution to visit all the properties owned by Acres Land Trust. I am not one of them.) We have both been to this preserve before, but not with a group. Despite the cold and blustery day, there was a good crowd. About half went on a physical hike (less talk, more walk) while the others went on an educational hike (more talk, less walk). We chose the former as I did not want to stand around getting educated while the wind froze my cockles. Instead, I worked up a sweat clambering up and down the ravines. I thoroughly expect my haunches to be complaining tomorrow.

All of this brings me to a New Year's resolution of sorts: to get out and about more. I tend to be a homebody, but even though I have a vast capacity for solitude, I do get tired of me on occasion. For a resolution to stick, one needs a plan. Part of my plan includes joining the Wild Walkers whereby all I have to do is show up every two or three weeks dressed appropriately for the weather. I think I can do that.

Hope springs eternal

It's that time of year again, when this old girl's thoughts turn to resolutions. It seems I make the same resolutions every year: lose weight, exercise more, keep up with the housework, etc. This year is no different. In fact, looking back at an entry I made a year ago, the resolution list looks suspiciously familiar. Only this year, I started/restarted a bit early.

When I work at work (instead of at home), I sit near the actuaries. Some of them have started what has become a semi-regular tradition, of challenging each other to lose weight. Being actuaries, they have a method and a strategy whereby one can earn points, keeping track of it all on a spreadsheet. Some of them actually have lost weight, and a subset of them have also kept the weight off. They kindly invited my co-worker and me to join the current wave (are they saying I look fat?!?) Since there was a financial penalty involved if one did not reach one's goals, I decided I could not afford it. My co-worker, however, is participating, and after hearing him comment that, while he has not lost weight, he has dropped two belt notches, my curiousity was peaked.

So, about six weeks ago I asked him about it, and basically the strategy is one earns points by dieting and/or exercising, every day. The dieting guidelines are a bit stringent, so while he has been watching what he eats, he has been concentrating more on exercise. And it shows. Given that my exercise routine has become non-existent in the past year or so, thanks to some hip-shoulder-wrist problems, I decided the least I could do is go for a walk outside everyday.

And since the weather has been surprisingly cooperative, I have been able to do just that. And in case it isn't, an exercycle has found its way from my daughter's house to mine. Not only do the walks make me feel better physically, they elevate my mood a significant amount. And, to give myself a little incentive, I have an appointment for a physical in about three weeks, with a new doctor.

My weight has crept up about 15 pounds over the past year or so, so I am hoping to reverse that trend, with baby steps.

What are your hopes for the new year?