Hallow weinies

I'm not one of those nut jobs who decorates the yard for whatever holiday is scheduled for the current month, but for Halloween, I usually make a half-assed attempt to make my house look somewhat inviting.  No flashing lights, but something resembling a pumpkin may appear.  This year, meh, but I doubt that was why only a dozen or so kids showed up.

For years I ranted (internally) against the little extortionists that forced me to puchase candy and answer the door umpteen times.  Leaving the porch light off did not deter them, either, because (thanks to DST) it is still light out when Trick or Treating begins.  Then, in a moment of self-awareness, I realized I got a kick out of the kids (or most of them).

The two girls that live in the house north of me are always the first to show up.  They look how I expect kids to look on Halloween - kind of disheveled, a little breathless, very excited.  This year the girl in the house to the south of me finally decided (or her parents decided) she was too old to Trick or Treat - after all, she now has her drivers license.  At least she and her cohort were always well costumed.  Several years ago, a too-old-to-trick-or-treat kid showed up at my door, wearing street clothes and a mask.  And bling.  I didn't know whether to laugh or worry he was casing the joint.

The number of kids who TorT in my neighborhood can fluctuate wildly, depending on whether there are forays from neighboring additions.  Consequently, I never know how much candy to buy.  One year I ran out and tried offering apples (classic!)  The look on the kids' faces still makes me laugh out loud.  Other years, I have tried buying candy I don't like - Dum Dums or Almond Joy - so I would not be tempted to eat it myself.  Turns out no one likes that crap.  The kids did not exactly recoil, but they definitely hesitated before plunging their hands into the goodie bowl.  The worst was the year I handed out cheapo plastic toys, in my misguided crusade against suger; most of them wound up in my front bushes.

When I was a kid, most people handed out store-bought candy, but there were always a few who made popcorn balls (always stale) and cookies (always crumbly), or handed out apples (see above).  One family took advantage of the opportunity to divest their household of all the comic books their boys had accumulated over the past year.  This was a very popular house.  A few would wrap ten pennies in netting and ribbon, which sounds kind of cheap, except back then, a regular sized candy bar cost five cents.  Last night I could have handed each child a dollar and come out ahead.

We also used to collect for Unicef.  Does anybody do that anymore?  I could never figure out if one was supposed to collect candy OR collect Unicef money OR if it was okay to do both.

The biggest puzzle of all, though, were the kids who did not consume all their candy on Halloween but rather doled it out over a period of time.  I'm sure parental assistance (or insistance) was involved, but it just seemed unnatural.  And pointless.

Now, hand over the Peanut M&Ms, and no one gets hurt.

I cooked and cooked then cooked some more

I like a challenge, but I almost overdid it with Thanksgiving dinner this year. When perusing magazines, do you ever see complete menus for holiday meals laid out in photographic splendor? The magazine was AARP (shut up) and the article was from a year ago, but I found the recipes online and decided, if I was going to cook, I was going to COOK. I tried to be organized about the whole endeavor, but there were still a few surprises along the way.

Surprise number 1 was how much money I spent at the grocery store on the ingredients for a dinner for eight. It could have been more, because usually I buy the organic, free range turkey. I was not organized enough for that this year, but I also did not buy the cheap bird, either. Then there were many ingredients I did not have on hand, like the fresh herbs, some of which at least came from my garden. And, in case things did not go well foodwise, I bought plenty of beer. Still, I could have taken everyone out to a very nice restaurant for that kind of money. And not had to clean the kitchen six times in the course of two days. (Surprise 1.5 was how difficult it was to find dried apples.)

Surprise number 2 was my ineptitude in the kitchen. I live alone and don't cook much anymore. Still, you'd think I would remember things like to put the lid on the blender before pressing the puree button. I don't think it was my fault when I did get the lid on, only to have it fly off when I tried the puree button again. Surprise number 2.5 was that the mess wasn't as bad as I expected.

The recipes had been touted as being healthier than the normal Thanksgiving day fare. By that, I guess AARP means no pie. Surprise number 3 was the amount of butter and oil used throughout the recipes. But I think holidays are exempt from the low-fat rule.

Surprise number 4 were all the little details in the recipes: cooking the turkey broth until it was reduced by three-quarters, adding egg yolks one at a time, beating this, then folding in that, fresh herbs here, dried ones there, etc. There are probably logical reasons for all these instructions, but I sometimes think chefs make recipes difficult to execute just because they can.

Surprise number 5 was the amount of stuffing that the authors think can go into a 12-pound turkey. There was easily twice as much, so I threw the extra into a pan and baked it while we ate. Can anyone say "leftovers"?

Surprise number 6 were absences from the table: my son came down with the flu and could not muster the energy to drive seven hours just to watch us eat while he sipped Sprite and nibbled on Saltines. I wish he could have been there, but I'm glad he chose to keep his germs to himself. Because of a scheduling lapse, dinner was late, and my son-in-law was expected at a family poker game. At least he got to sample the soup before he left, and I sent plenty of leftovers home with my daughter.

But the best surprise of all was how delicious everything tasted, especially the Roasted Butternut Squash with Honey-Pecan Butter and the Dried Apples and Corn Bread Stuffing.

Despite all the work, I enjoyed the cooking. It made me wish for a bigger kitchen, with a bigger oven and more counter space and more cupboards for used-once-a-year kitchen appliances. Maybe I should have remodeled the kitchen instead of adding on the new room. Maybe next year. *sigh*

But It's Tradition!

I like to try new things, but I'm a little nervous about my plans to tweak tradition this Thanksgiving. Yes, there will be turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and cranberries, but not in their usual form. Instead, I am recreating the menu from last year's AARP Magazine "Luscious" Thanksgiving article. If you hear an ear splitting whine emanating from the Midwest, you will know someone is protesting the lack of sweet and sour green beans and crescent rolls. And no pie! To sooth the savage breast, I will be providing plenty of beer.

Halloween Randomness

What do you think about trick-or-treaters with cleavage? Too old to trick-or-treat? At least for candy? In their favor, they wore real costumes.

I don't know many of the neighborhood kids, but I recognized the Dachshund dressed up like a hot dog.

Why is everyone saying "Happy Halloween" instead of "Trick or treat"?

"I like your hair," I told one sevenish-year-old girl, referring to her waist-length pink tresses.

"Thanks," she responded matter-of-factly. "It's a wig."

What Your Halloween Habits Say About You

You're a friendly person, but not the life of the party. You like making someone else's day - and you'll dress up if you think of a really fun costume. Sneaky and devious, people should really watch out for you. You are usually underestimated and forgotten. Your inner child is full of wonder and very sweet. You truly fear the dark side of humanity. You are a true misanthrope. You're logical, rational, and not easily effected. Not a lot scares you... especially when it comes to the paranormal. You are a traditionalist with most aspects of your life. You like your Halloween costume to be basic, well made, and conventional enough to wear another year.

What's Your Halloween Personality?

Just for the record, I am not sneaky or devious, I don't have an inner child, and I'm not so much traditional as lazy.