I have never owned an Apple product. No iPod, no iPhone, no Mac. And yet I am strangely tempted to treat myself to an iPad 2. I'm just not sure I would make good use of it. Would I read books on it? Do crossword puzzles? Blog? Or would I just carry it around because I want to look cool? My head says, Don't waste your money, but my heart says, For once in your life, buy something frivolous! I'm such a Calvinist.
Many years ago, Judith Viorst wrote a book called Necessary Losses. When I read it, I was too young to really get it. Now, as I have had to give up one thing or another, I do. After years of responsible alcohol consumption, I planned to do some serious drinking in my late middle age, only to lose my tolerance for booze. I am still pretty limber, but the aches and pains are starting to catch up with me. This morning, on the tail end of a hormonal roller coaster ride, I actually wanted to have a baby. Thank god that is not even remotely possible anymore, but it still makes me sad to think so much is behind me now.
It's not that I don't have things to look forward to, or that I don't appreciate what is in my life right now. It's just that suddenly my life is about two-thirds over. When you are five years old, a year represents 20% of your life - the time between Christmases or birthdays is interminable. When a year feels more like 1 or 2%, though, the days fly.
So, do I want to spend my (relatively) few days left on earth obsessing over an electronic gadget in hand? Damn straight!