My mother passed away when I was 20. Consequently, it was very important to me that my children grow up to be independent, just in case I was not around. And they did. And while I am very proud of the young adults they have become, I could not help but be a little sad when I felt that they did not need me anymore. After decades of dance recitals and ball games, after ushering them from kindergarten through college graduation, there was not much left for me to do besides provide holiday repasts and force xmas gifts upon them.
But now, I have a brand new baby granddaughter. While I have been looking forward to becoming a grandma, I was not prepared for the depth of my reaction to her appearance less than three weeks ago. Day 1, I could not sleep because all I saw in my mind's eye was her sweet face. Day 2, I worked from home so I could spend my lunch hour holding her. Day 3, I took the afternoon off so I could again hold her and not feel rushed to leave. Day 4, I did not think I would see her, but her parents stopped by, oh joy! I saw her every day the first week of her life. Too much Baby N is never enough.
Not only that, but I have this overwhelming urge to stock up on picture books and puzzles and little stuffed animals and teething rings. My imagination is running wild in anticipation of first smile, first step, first t-ball game. I never had the patience to let my kids help me with the garden or the baking or even the laundry, but now my middle name will be Patience because I will be utterly transformed from Harried Parent to Doting Grandma.
I hope she likes me.