Interesting but not compelling

I watched "Frost/Nixon" last night. Since it was based on a play, I figured that watching would not be as important as listening, so I knitted while it ran. That may have been a mistake because I have noticed that when I knit and "watch" a movie, I'm not really engaged in the movie. Occasionally I will pick up my knitting halfway through a movie, but that is because the movie is boring me, and I either must knit or quit watching. And I hate to leave a movie unfinished, just in case it gets better or the last ten minutes make it worthwhile.

Anyway, I have vivid memories of the 1972 election because it was the first election in which I was able to exercise my franchise. I was a hippie back in those days, and spent a sweaty day or two at the county fair, (wo)manning a booth for some liberal cause I cannot recall. I do remember the men associated with the Committee to Reelect the President, though, because they looked like mafia hit men in their dark suits. I mean, really. Who wears a suit to a county fair except goons who need to hide their gats?

Having lived through the era in question, I expected to feel a stronger sense of history from "Frost/Nixon" but did not. As much as I despised Tricky Dick back in the day, I have also harbored a secret sympathy for him, maybe because of a slight resemblance between him and my dad (specifically, the jowls). The movie did not feed my sympathy, either. Something about Langella's Nixon just did not do it for me. I think Nixon was meaner and darker and more wounded in real life. And David Frost is not all that interesting just by himself.

Would I recommend the movie? Only if there is nothing else you really want to see. If you have seen the previews, you have seen the best parts.

Do you hear what I don't hear?

My SO and I went to a concert last night: the Derek Trucks Band. I had never heard of them, but the SO was really excited. And I have to admit, I have never seen him enjoy a concert more. He was practically leaping out of his seat, and the whoops kept leaking out even after the music stopped.

I am the first to admit that, along with the fashion gene and the shopping gene, I am lacking the music gene. Last night was a case in point. I tried to make sense of the music, looked for layers, picked around for subtleties in the wall of sound they presented, but to me, Derek Trucks sounds like a one-layer lasagna or a casserole with too many strong flavored ingredients where every bite tastes the same. But judging by the outbursts from the crowd, I was alone in my opinion. They heard something that I did not.

Part of my problem is that I am simply musically ignorant. I don't know a chord progression from a shift in tempo, let alone anything about the roots of rhythm or the evolution of a musical genre. Last night's finale was a case in point. The central theme to the piece was the melody from "My Favorite Things". Surprised, I turned to my SO and said, "That's from 'The Sound of Music'." He does not like show tunes, so I was shocked when he responded, "Yeah!" Okaaaay. Maybe it was meant to be ironic? But each time the theme reappeared, the crowd went wild. WTF? After the concert, my SO explained that the piece was from an improvisational thing John Coltrane did live at Newport. Ohhhh. Did everyone in the audience know that? Most of them were old enough, so maybe. Or maybe they just liked what they heard.

And maybe I would go to another Derek Trucks Band concert given the chance, if only to try to hear whatever it is that I don't. I did hear the bass, though, and so did my sternum. Can one suffer from cardiac arrhythmia from too much vibration? And I liked the light show; I'd love to have a set of those swiveling lamps in my front yard at xmas time.

A local group, the Todd Harrold Band, fronted. Todd Harrold I have heard of, as he is a co-host of the Burnt Toast Show, and I knew he played locally but did not know just what. I would describe their music as drum-centric funk? The guitarist moves the way I imagine Bill Gates dances, which was amusing, and they also subscribe to the wall of sound school of music. My feet liked the beat. Would I buy a CD? Probably not, but if someone invited me to another of their concerts, I would go.

So, while I spent part of the evening wishing I was home piddling in the kitchen in my jammie pants and lobster slippers, I have to admit it was an interesting event. My SO accompanies me to folk music concerts and fiber arts festivals, and this weekend's date involves signing up for a cancer prevention study, so I think I can sacrifice the occasional night of listening to music that I don't hear.

And just so I am not the only one suffering from a brain itch: "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens/Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens/Brown paper packages tied up with string...."

Tricks I play

There is a co-worker in my office whose phone rings incessantly when he is not at his desk. For some reason, the calls don't roll over to voice mail. A ringing phone, especially one that you can't answer, is maddening. I don't really know this co-worker well, so I don't feel free to accost him in the hallway and tell him just how annoying his caller is. But I don't care to expend much emotional energy on this issue, either, so I pretend he has a relative who is mentally ill and who needs to contact him 24/7, sort of like the Laura Linney character's brother in "Love Actually". Then my quiet seething is transformed into Poor guy.

Several years ago, another co-worker spent a lot of time in our department conducting user tests on some new software. This woman tends to laugh - a lot - frequently to the point where she sounds like she is choking. It was rapidly driving me crazy. Again, I did not know her well enough to tell her to Shut the f*ck up! So instead, I pretended like she was my best friend. Oh, that Mary! There she goes again!

One more example is a contract worker who I considered a bit of a pompous asshole, but with whom I had to work on a regular basis. In order to calm my general crankiness toward this individual, I pretended his wife had cancer. Not that I wanted to wish her ill, but simply to generate a little compassion on my part. Give the guy a break.

I consider it part of my job to get along with my co-workers. Most of them are simply doing the best they can, sad as that seems sometimes. But occasionally I need to trick myself into being civil if not downright friendly, in order to get my work done.

Hey, it works for me.

Dear diary

It has been a long time since we last "spoke". It's not that I don't want to write or that I don't have things to say. It's just that by the end of the day, a day spent on a computer at work, I'm not too interested in spending even more time in front of a PC. Maybe I should try for a weekly recap instead.

Let's see. Last weekend was Women's Weekend. A group of us have been getting together twice a year for over 30 years. It started as a response to our husbands' annual Memorial Day canoe trip. Our first "weekend" was just an afternoon, as many had nursing babies, but eventually we settled on a Friday-to-Sunday ritual, usually at a cabin on a nursery that the family of one of the women owns. We spend our time playing cards, watching movies, eating (but less and more healthily than in previous years), drinking (also less), smoking (cigarettes!), and talking, talking, talking. Over the years the topics have evolved, but we still have plenty to discuss. I enjoy the time spent with these friends, but I always come home exhausted and in need of detox.

Monday was Memorial Day, a paid holiday where I work. I had a massage scheduled in the morning, but got waylaid by a lost dog. I was eventually able to both reschedule the massage for noon, plus reunite dog and owner. Then, besides catching up on the usual weekend chores like laundry, I worked in the yard with the help of my SO who this year has been doing most of the "heavy lifting" - anything requiring more upper body strength than I can muster.

Tuesday it was back to work - ugh - and yoga in the evening. Wednesday, work and date night. We tried out a new place, the House of Greens - not bad, we'll be back - and went shopping for a new mattress for my bed. I have a queensize waterbed frame, but gave up the waterbed mattress about ten years ago. The current mattress has a definite valley in the center which is beginning to take its toll on my back. I was just going to replace it with something similar, but made the mistake of testing a memory foam mattress. More expensive but also more comfortable. Now I am torn. Wish I knew people who have these so I could quiz them, not only on the mattress's sleepability but also how they would grade it as a platform for sex. These things are important!

Thursday more work and new tires. I hate tire places in general - maybe it is the fumes - and they never want to make actual appointments and they don't have shuttles. I did get a lot of knitting done, though, and I am happy with the new tires. On the way home, I made the mistake of stopping at the Niagara store and wasted 'way too much time there because they are so desperate to make a sale that they did not want me to leave and I'm too polite to just walk out. By the time I got home, I was grumpy because most of the evening was shot, so I just put on jammie pants and sat down to finish Homicide My Own, by Anne Argula (if you like mysteries with strong female characters, this series is for you). My son called just to chat, which was nice and helped lift my spirits.

(One of the things we talked about was how most people live beyond their means because they cannot defer gratification, but not us. He said, I must have had good parents. And I said, I must have had good parents. And he said, And Dad turned out okay anyway. Heh.)

And then it was Friday. It has been raining for days around here and even though it looked threatening, I spent several hours out in the yard, working off the week's frustrations. Later in the evening, I started The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd, but just could not keep my eyes open.

The weekend is finally here, with the usual chores but also the opportunities for R&R. Time for breakfast, yoga, and grocery shopping. Ta!

Take me out to the ball game

Last weekend we saw our newly named, newly mascotted, newly housed minor league baseball team make a rather feeble attempt at playing ball. Baseball games can be interminable, especially if the home team is playing like they are dazed and confused, but that did not stop the women in front of us from talking interminably to each other, even though they were complete strangers.



Fortunately, there were plenty of other distractions.



Unfortunately, my camera batteries died before the end of the first inning. We did have a good time, though. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon in the Fort.

After a wonderful, 5-day weekend, it was back to work, where I seem to have become persona non gratis with a certain group at our location. Things like this used to bother me, but now I find them amusing. While their emails to me are terse and simmering, my responses are lightly gushing, like I'm a dimwit who just does not understand that they hate my guts. I doubt the ice will ever melt, but at least I cannot be accused of fanning the flames. Unless they think I am being sarcastic. Heh.

We're all winners

Before I forget, let me mention the refrigerator magnets I won in a contest at Thinking Some More. They were made by fellow Hoosier Christy and besides being very cute, are also extremely strong.

I am taking a few days off from the nuthouse, aka that place where I go everyday and they give me funds for kibble. Last Wednesday was nuttier than usual. I would give you a blow-by-blow description of just how nutty it was, but I have already expunged the experience from my mind. As far as I am concerned, until next Tuesday, I am retired.

So what does one do when one pretends to be retired but can't spend the days just lazing around because said pretend retirement has an expiration date? Well, there's the outside stuff like mowing and gardening and driving all over the county in search of plants. Then there is the indoor stuff like cleaning and cooking and rearranging furniture. There is the SO stuff like date night and phone calls and colonoscopies. And there's the family stuff, like power walking (which happened to involve walking through a fiber arts festival - roving!) and a Tin Caps game and a combined Cinco de Mayo/Mother's Day/May birthdays celebration complete with birthday pie.

The days are just packed.

Misc.

The other day at work, someone came to call for Jeffrey D. Jeffrey D was not at the front door to greet his visitor, so the security guard was calling around to see if anyone knew his whereabouts. When the guard called me, he had a brain fart or something and instead of asking about Jeffrey D, he asked if I worked with Jeffrey Dahmer. Surprisingly, I knew who he really meant, maybe because there are not that many Jeffreys here at work. But after the call, I could not remember Jeffrey D's real last name; I just knew it was not Dahmer, familiar though that sounded.

In my previous post, we were discussing money - or at least, I was - but I neglected to vent about my role as association treasurer and the fact that half of my neighbors cannot cough up $30 a year for our association dues without much arm twisting. These dues cover mowing of common property, private snow plowing, property taxes on common property, and postage. The postage would be unnecessary if everyone would respond to the fliers, signs, and online postings about the dues. Complicating the matter is the fact our dues are voluntary and our compliance rate is about 80%. I downplay the former because I am afraid that more would not pay, but I made the mistake of posting about the latter. Now all I get is, Why should I pay if my neighbors don't? BECAUSE IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND IT IS ONLY THIRTY BUCKS!!! I'm sure many of these people spend $30 a month (or more!) on lottery tickets (aka the stupid tax). But a few bucks to keep the neighborhood looking nice and to allow us to drive to work after an 8-inch snowfall? Wah, wah, wah.

I have a new pair of glasses. A new pair of $843 glasses which, thanks to vision insurance, cost me "only" $329. They are very light weight. They are also screwing with my depth perception - the floor looks too far a way and sometimes that makes me feel dizzy. I had not realized how fuzzy my vision had become. Everything looks crisp now. I just wish the lenses were bigger; it's difficult to find the right place to look through when one has trifocals. Consequently, I keep bobbing my head.

On the way back to work from picking up my glasses, I turned right onto a road that I thought would take me right back to the office. About a half mile down said road, nothing looked familiar. Instead of strip malls, I was passing upscale residential additions. I swear I took this same route just last week. Where was I?!? Because of the additions - which in this town should be labeled with warning signs that say "Abandon hope, all ye who enter here" because they are super convoluted to discourage anyone from trying to take a shortcut through one, assuming there is more than one entrance - I could not take corrective action for several miles. And while looking for a way back without actually retracing my route, I kept trying to figure out where I went wrong. I also wondered if this was a sign of early dementia and/or a flashback. I eventually determined I had turned right too soon, and I eventually found a road that I knew would take me back to work, but whew! At least it was a nice day for a drive.

The pounds are not melting off despite the FBD, maybe because I am still struggling with the hunger thing. And at work, the boredom thing. And the sit-all-day-on-my-ass thing. My food choices were healthy before I embarked on this diet journey, but now they are even healthier, to the point where some not-so-healthy foods cause varying amounts of gastric distress. Like food from BK and the slow-churn low-fat ice cream from Baskin Robbins. At least, I think those are the culprits. Penn Station seems okay, though.

I'm up to 20 friends of Facebook! Most are blasts from the past, and it is fun to catch up with them. I also post pix of my yard and pets and knitting (geek!) So far, I have avoided joining groups or using the applications. It's addictive enough as it is.

Time and money

Today, in honor of Earth Day, I decided to recycle some office paper. I salvaged the paper clips and binder clips to reuse but otherwise tossed 3-4 years of my working life into the trash. The files started with 2003 and were thick with the defects I fixed for each release of the Big Fat Enterprisewide App, but by 2005 the defects were thinning and I wondered if maybe I was programming myself out of a job. In 2006 I received kudos for a task well done, that task being training our replacements, and again I wondered if I was doing too good a job. But I'm still here! Less one file drawer of paper to move to the new building, the new building that has not yet been started.

Thanks for participating in my honesty survey, although after giving it some thought, the survey may have actually been about money. Otherwise honest and noble individuals are often reduced to dunderheads when it comes to money. I'm surprised by those who cannot NOT spend every cent they earn (and then some!) or those who are well off but can't part with a single dollar for charity or those who think they are poor but can afford to send their kids to parochial school. And what we each are willing to spend money on is also very telling indeed.

I've come to the conclusion that I will never be rich, will always have to work for a living, but will also not become homeless or destitute, partially due to dumb luck but also because I try to make wise financial decisions. Somehow I have always found a job when I needed one, always made enough money to get by (although at times, things were a little tight), chose to have only two children, chose to own only one car, chose to live in a modest house (which is almost paid off!) I don't carry a balance on my credit cards, I avoid buying things I don't need, and I make an effort to share my so-called wealth with a variety of charities that are important to me.

While I am happy to buy my kids the occasional gift, they are both self-supporting adults who do not need my money (of which I am SO proud!) Several of those co-workers who thought I should keep the tax refunds that were not mine to keep subsidize the lifestyles of some of their adult relatives, presumably because they equate money with love and/or to assuage guilt. One fellow may wind up in bankruptcy because of his "generosity".

Several years ago (before the current economic downturn), my financial advisor suggested I was living too far below my means. But I look around and wonder, What else could I want? Really, the only thing I want right now is to be able to retire as soon as possible. Living below my means will help me toward that goal better than anything else. Besides, when you buy something, you have to take care of it even if you don't use it much, and also find a place to keep it. My house is small and my time is limited, so I'd rather keep my belongings to a minimum.

I know. I'm a bad consumer.

Survey says

About five years ago I was accessing my checking account online and discovered two tax refunds, one from the federal government, one from the state. My initial delight changed to confusion in about two seconds because 1) I was not expecting any refunds that year, and 2) I had not yet filed my tax returns. I called my credit union to report the mistake (it turned out to be some transposed digits in the account number) and forgot about it.

The next year, the same thing happened. And the next year, too. Each time I reported the error immediately. After the third time, though, the other party was so impressed with my honesty that they rewarded me with their state tax refund, which amounted to several hundred dollars. Totally unnecessary but very nice of them indeed.

Each time these errors occurred, I related the story to my co-workers. Surprisingly (at least, to me), a couple of my co-workers berated me for reporting the error right away, suggesting I should have just kept the money and waited to see if the error was ever detected. I never considered keeping the money - someone was enthusiastically and mayby anxiously awaiting its delivery - and besides, it could easily be traced to my account. My co-workers then suggested I should have spent it, like that would have disguised the electronic audit trail.

Anyway, this seems like a good topic for a survey! Since not very many people read this blog, invite your friends and family to stop by and voice their opinion. I'm really curious to see if I am too honest for my own good.

Thanks!

Plateaued

I have not lost a single additional pound following the four-day jump-start of the Flat Belly Diet, after which I lost four pounds. This lack of progress is due to the fact that I am finding it nearly impossible to stick with 1600 calories a day because I'M HUNGRY! Instead of four 400-calorie meals, I am eating five. And while I am not losing weight, at least I have not gained any back. So, if I ever get down to my target weight, I know how many calories it takes to maintain.

My daughter is also following the FBD, more or less. I asked her if she was hungry, and she said, Yes, but she just tries to distract herself. So that is going to be my strategy, too - set hard limits on how much I eat and how often and when I feel hungry in between meals, try to find something to keep my mind off food. At home, this is relatively easy, but it would help if my job weren't so BORING.

In other news, well, there isn't any to speak of. Yesterday was Easter, but we don't really do Easter. Hell, we barely do xmas. I consider myself agnostic, my daughter is an avowed atheist, and while my son told me once that he believes in God, beyond that, things get a little fuzzy. (The only time he might have heard anything about God was during locker room prayers.) My dad had never been in a church until he married. My mom came from a long line of ministers and tried to get us to go to church once in a while, but it was a lost cause. When I found out that her brother had converted to Catholicism, I went around telling people I was "half-Catholic" as I thought it was like being half-Danish. Anyway, the closest to Easter I got this weekend was calling my dad and putting ham in the scalloped potatoes for dinner on Sunday.

No real update on last Friday's issue at work, either. Today was very quiet. Too quiet.

It was a good Friday

When I arrived at work today, it looked like having my carpets cleaned was going to be the highlight of the day, but it actually got better and better.

Several years ago, I wrote a little application that has run without fanfare or problem for a select number of users, until this week, when suddenly it began to hang after submitting a query to a database. For most users, instead of executing in a few seconds as it usually does, it was taking 5-10 minutes; for some, over an hour. Totally unacceptable.

After lunch, I found out that not only was my little app affecting its own users, it was slowing down everyone in the corporation who was trying to use our big, fat, enterprise-wide business application. Wow. I didn't know I had such power.

What's even better is, it's totally not my fault. Nothing has changed with my app for years, so it is either a database problem or a network problem. Dance, infrastructure team, dance!

I think my work here is done.

Crying at work

No, I did not get "right sized". Things were a little slow today, so I was stealth-reading an essay in the NYer by David Sedaris, trying desperately not to laugh out loud, mopping up silent tears of hilarity. Who thought a giant box of condoms in a shopping cart at Costco could be so funny?

Once the new building is built, I won't be able to do any of this - read, stifle laughter, dab my eyes - unnoticed. When we move into the greenest office building in northeast Indiana, we will trade our tall (over five foot) cubicle walls for short (three foot) ones. Ostensibly, this is so everyone will be exposed to the natural light streaming through the high tech windows. Everyone will also be exposed to everyone else. But, more importantly, everyone's monitors will be exposed to everyone else instead of just the techno geeks who monitor (heh) our Internet access behind the scenes. I predict the economy will suffer from the sudden slow-down of online shopping.

How can a company lay off 10% of its work force and still erect a new building, you ask? Funny accounting. My employer won't own the building; instead, they will sign a 12-year lease while someone else owns it. Still, closing an office in South America while erecting a building in the Midwest looks bad. I for one would gladly sacrifice my new (short) cubicle walls in favor of keeping my current (tall) ones if it will save someone's job.

For a while there, I was obsessed with doomsday scenarios (besides unemployment), to the point where I started collecting two-liter pop bottles to store water. I don't drink much pop, let alone from two-liter bottles, so I asked a co-worker to save me his. I was too embarrassed to tell him why, so I made up a story about building a cold frame and wanting to fill the pop bottles with water and use them as a heat sink. Now he periodically asks how my cold frame is coming along. I tell him I am still accumulating building materials for it, which is sort of true.

And, speaking of doomsday, I finally finished listening to Collapse on CD. Or I should say, CDS - there were 22 of them. A very interesting book, but I was disappointed in the ending. Jared Diamond sounded like he was going to make some suggestions about what we as individuals could do, but then he didn't. I think I will focus on reforestation (this from someone who last summer cut down four silver maples in her backyard) and population control. I hereby pledge to have no more children.

Our turn

Thursday morning, as I was walking into the building at work, I mused that things had been awfully quiet lately - no announcements, no town halls - and wondered what was up with that? Upon opening my email, I found out: 10% reduction in staff in the coming 12 months, by retirement, attrition, and "redundancies". Shit.

My department reorganized last year, and at that time, trimmed about 10% of the IT staff worldwide. So the general feeling, as expressed by my line managers, is we have already done our part. But I am sure they have a list of potential lambs to sacrifice.

I feel relatively safe because I support several esoteric but high-profile applications. One is being phased out over the next year or so. Another is slated to go as well, but the end date is TBD. The third actually generates income, and I am the last programmer standing on that project.

After revealing just how much money the company lost last year, the CEO and chairman of the board resigned a month or so ago. These were the two guys who kept reassuring us that everything was fine. Were they asked to leave or are they rats deserting a sinking ship?

Later Thursday, they announced some office consolidations and shifting business. We are supposed to get a whole new building in the coming year, but they have not broken ground yet. I will feel a whole lot better when the heavy equipment shows up.

Every hour is Earth Hour

Did you participate in Earth Hour? I wasn't going to because it seems the only ones who do are the ones who are already aware. My daughter shamed me into it, though. I spent the time taking a leisurely bath by candlelight. Shaving my legs in the semi-dark went okay, but don't try to clip toenails when you can't really see what you are doing. I peaked out the windows occasionally and determined I was the only one in my neighborhood who had turned off any lights.

Tonight is the end of the four-day jump-start for the Flat Belly Diet. I stuck with it, more or less. Saturday night I got hungry late in the evening and cheated by nibbling an extra tablespoon of pumpkin seeds. By suppertime Sunday evening, I was starving, so cheated again, by having 3.75 oz. of chicken instead of 3 and adding a teaspoon of butter to my potatoes. Then I ate so fast I gave myself heartburn, which is one way to kill one's appetite. Tonight I celebrated my relative success with a bite of dark chocolate, but I can tell I will need something more before bedtime. If I had to remain on 1200 calories a day, I would be miserable.

My analog scales say I lost several pounds. You know and I know that the weight loss is mostly water, but I will take what I can get. I don't feel lighter, but my face looks thinner, now that it is not all bloated with fluid.

Tomorrow I get to up my calorie intake to 1600 calories a day - four meals of 400 calories each. Whoo-hoo!

Mad as hell

The other day I stopped by Kohl's to buy some slacks. The two pairs I have been wearing all winter are "winter weight" and I wanted some light weight ones for warmer weather (which I still believe in my heart of hearts WILL arrive someday soon). But while pawing through the size 16 "comfort fit" Lee's, I grew angrier and angrier because, once again, I am looking for "fat clothes" when I have a closet full of apparel I could wear if I lost 10-15 pounds. I left the store in a self-directed huff.

A co-worker of mine recently lost weight, after reading Mindless Eating but when I read the book, I gained ten pounds. The holidays might have had something to do with it, but still. All diet books I have read have been less than helpful. For one thing, they don't tell me anything I don't already know. Eat fruit instead of donuts? Duh. Avoid fried food? Double duh. Eat less and exercise more? Triple duh. And their recipes are either too difficult and/or time consuming to prepare or contain exotic ingredients not readily available in these here parts of the Midwest (although that is improving) or become tiresome after a while (Atkins - never thought I would get sick of bacon). And they don't tell you what to do when you feel HUNGRY.

And yet hope springs eternal. After I left Kohl's, I stopped at the library to pick up a book I had placed on hold: Flat Belly Diet. My expectations were low, but after perusing the menus, I thought, Hey, I think I can do this. For one thing, the foods are ones I eat already. Except for the occasional Peanut Buster Parfait (which are currently ON SALE), I make healthy food choices. I just eat too much of those healthy choices. And this book's gimmick are MUFA's - monounsaturated fats - which may help me with that hunger thing.

The FBD has a four-day jump-start phase, for which they even supply a shopping list, so Thursday I shopped up a storm at the Co-op and Krogers. Already I hit a hitch - some of the items on the shopping list are not available, like unsweetened corn flakes (or did they mean unfrosted?) and cream of wheat in individual servings. I'm not much of a cereal person, so I decided the Rice Krispies could substitute for all the cereals. I wish I had paid more attention to the jump-start menus, too, as I thought two "bunches" of mint would be like two bunches of parsley (i.e. HUGE). I could not find any bunches of mint, though, so I bought two little packages of fresh mint plus a box of mint tea. The mint is for their "Sassy" water and it turns out you need only 12 leaves of mint for each day's worth, so I have plenty.

Anyway, about $100 later (a lot of what I bought was organic) I was on my way. Yesterday was day 1. The Sassy water (flavored with grated ginger, cucumber, lemon, and that mint) is actually quite good. I'm not very hungry when I get up, so I decided I would have the snack for breakfast: one blueberry smoothie and two tablespoons of pumpkin seeds. Lunch was deli turkey, string cheese, and a whole pint of grape tomatoes (with NO SALT). I ate breakfast for my afternoon snack: Rice Krispies, skim milk, and applesauce; I ate the allowed quarter-cup of sunflower seeds midmorning. I'm not much of a fish eater, so I substituted chicken for tilapia for supper, which I ate with green beans and a measly half-cup of potatoes.

And you know what? I didn't really feel hungry all day, just vaguely dissatisfied. There is a journal to keep along with the FBD where you can rate your hunger, mood, etc. Since I became more disciplined about morning meditation, my nervous/emotional eating has decreased, so I'm not too concerned with my mood, so as long as I don't feel hungry, I should be okay.

Except for that no-coffee thing. The FBD is about avoiding anything that might cause bloating or water retention. I question the science behind some of their contentions, but decided I would take a hiatus from coffee. Or try to. I drank less than my usual yesterday and went to bed with a slight headache that turned into a major cranial meltdown by this morning. One cup of coffee and two Advil later, I was functioning, albeit in a bit of a fog. An afternoon nap and another cup cleared things up. Tomorrow I will try to get by with just one cup. Maybe. We'll see. I really like coffee. That and swearing are my final two vices.

Anyway, the jump-start part of the diet is 1200 calories a day, which I think is very low, so I am surprised I do not feel hungry. I tend to eat less on weekends, so I'm hoping I can stick with the plan. The regular days of FBD consist of 1600 calories, which will not cause rapid weight loss but should be doable. I would be more than satisfied with a 4-5 pound weight loss per month.

Which brings me to the before-and-after pictures in the book. One aspect of the FBD is to flatten your belly by reducing bloating and water retention. The other aspect is to flatten your belly by weight reduction. The photos represent one month of progress for each person profiled. Not a lot of weight was lost in one month by anyone, but some of those photos look fake, like the subject is either sticking her belly out in the before photo and/or sucking it in for the after photo. I am not taking any before pictures, but I did record my weight and a cluster of measurements for comparison purposes.

Every time I feed the dog, I think, This is what I need: a pre-measured amount of food, twice a day, to keep me slim. The FBD is kind of like that, because it says eat this and this and this, in these amounts, and no more. I am cautiously optimistic. But if I never blog about the FBD again, you will know it was a FAIL.

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

That was Thursday. Not only had some erroneous data magically crept into the database of one project I support, but on another project, one on which the end user was about to sign off on the requirements for new (and high profile) functionality, said end user uncovered my total incompetence. Not only had I supplied the business analyst with an outdated user manual to use as a starting point for adding the new functionality, I myself was working off an outdated code base. Then when I went looking for the most recent code, I could not find all of it. This resulted in many mea culpa's on my part while I surreptitiously and unsuccessfully tried to finger someone else for the blame and dealt with that stomach-twisting sensation I get when I screw up.

What I could not understand is that ordinarily I am compulsive about backing up my work. In the bad old days of software development, it was ridiculously easy to accidentally delete a whole project or format a hard drive or damage a disk. But now we have version control systems and network backups and trash folders to save us from ourselves. There is only one caveat - one must actually make use of these tools for them to work. And I thought I had. And if I didn't, I should hang up my keyboard and mouse.

I wasn't the only one having a bad day. A co-worker who was also working a bit later than usual dropped the F-bomb, which is unusual in this office. I said, My sentiments exactly, and we traded our tales of woe. He made his sound worse, but I think mine topped his by one ulcer and a dire need for a grammartini.

My plan was to crawl home and inter myself under the covers, but my daughter showed up to walk, which was a good thing even though it was unexpected. The fresh air helped, as did a small supper of black soy bean soup (much better than it sounds) and dark chocolate, a little meditation, a little yarn winding (aka merino therapy), writing in my journal (mostly in all caps), a warm shower, a crossword puzzle, and listening to my life-is-but-a-dream tape. At least I got a halfway decent night's sleep.

Friday morning I kept looking for the missing files, still not believing I had not backed them up, while also trying to solve the firstly mentioned data problem. By lunch, the bad data had been removed but it looked like I was going to have to recreate the missing code. So I fetched the latest code base from the repository, opened up the project, and THERE IT WAS! The missing code! WTF?!?

As near as I can figure, I DID back up the project, but I had renamed a form which I thought would also rename the file it was in, but it did not. So the functionality I thought was missing was there all along, disguised by a misleading filename. That does not explain why the code on my PC was outdated, but at least I am not totally incompetent; I'm just a half-assed fuck-up. What a relief!

(Sorry if this was too nerdy for most of you, but someday, when I am perusing old postings, I will be reminded of my fallibility. Not that I'm not reminded on a daily basis, but I don't usually create such a detailed account of it for public consumption.)

Turning the corner

Last week I listened to a co-worker sneeze, blow his nose, and occasionally cough up an ocean of phlegm. I smugly said, Try sinus massage, drink this echinacia tea, get more sleep. Then yesterday I slammed into a wall of inertia that quickly brought me down. Damn his virulent germs!

I don't remember getting sick from my kids. My theory is they brought home a plethora of public school microbes every day, but in amounts my immune system could combat. Now I isolate myself to a handful of public places, thereby reducing the general germ hazard but leaving me susceptible to periodic mass invasion. The good news is my symptoms are minimal and I usually bounce back in a day or two, assuming that day or two are spent at home on the couch.

Maybe I should visit the mall more often and make sure to touch a lot of common surfaces, then eat at the food court without washing my hands first, to mimic the mini-exposures I used to experience. Or maybe I should just barricade myself at home, have my groceries delivered and telecommute. The latter is tempting, but even a misanthrope such as myself needs human contact once in a while.

Back to work it is.

Pierrepoint: The Last Hangman

I watched this movie several weeks ago, but forgot to post my "review". So here ya go!

Just as "Vera Drake" was about abortion, "Pierrepoint" is about capital punishment. Like "Vera Drake," it doesn't beat you about the head and shoulders with pros and cons. Instead, it tells the story of Britain's most prolific executioner, then lets you form your own opinion.

Albert Pierrepoint follows in his father's footsteps by qualifying to be on "the list" of executioners who carry out the courts' orders. He does his job well, performing the executions in a few seconds to prevent prolonging the condemn's agony, then treating the dead body with dignity. His work exists in the shadows and his identity remains a secret, until the end of World War II, when his professionalism earns him the privilege of executing war criminals in Germany.

Up until this point, Pierrepoint has carefully compartmentalized his emotions, viewing himself as a tool of the justice system. But the number of executions he performs in Germany undoes something within him. Also, the powers that be, wishing to present themselves as humane executioners, are not above publicizing his identity. His newfound fame does not sit well with him, but his wife is quick to capitalize on it. They buy a pub and his notoriety helps bring in customers.

I won't reveal more about the plot other than to say the movie raises the issues surrounding capital punishment and depicts the public's change in attitude toward it. Regardless of your own position on the issue, the film will make you think.

Ketchup

Let's see... what has happened since the last time I posted?

I am up to eleven friends on Facebook. One is a friend from college fighting stage III breast cancer. (BTW - see link to Army of Women on the right.) One is a semi-friend from college who has potential as a new fiber fiend. Several are former co-workers. One is my SO, who posted the funniest profile photo I have ever seen. Every time I look at it, I laugh. Every time I think of it, I laugh. I call it "Portrait of the Artist as a Curmudgeon" because he has this angry philosopher look on his face. When he explained that the camera went off while he was trying to see if it was time to smile, I laughed until I cried.

My month-long spending ban is still in effect until next weekend, when I plan to apply for a passport and upgrade my cell phone. I didn't do too bad - the only non-essentials I purchased were a couple of used books.

My bladder infection is gone, although it felt like it was coming back. That or I was developing ovarian cancer. Have you noticed that many of the symptoms of diseases are everyday things like lower back pain and fatigue? If unintentional weight loss is on the list, though, I know I am safe.

Speaking of weight loss, some study has arrived at the conclusion that the only way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more. Duh. The tricky part is figuring out a successful way to do that. Along with a zillion other people on the Web, I have been making lifestyle adjustments. For one thing, I have committed to attending yoga class twice a week. If the weather would cooperate, I would walk more, too. Another modification is eliminating flour and sugar from my diet. This is not such a big stretch for me, but so far, it has not resulted in any weight loss, so I am also dropping potatoes and popcorn. Given my penchant for salty snacks, no chips or fries will be a big deal.

And speaking of bladders, my stepmother's surgeon is sending her to physical therapy to strengthen the muscles "down there". He says it may take as long as a year to "get dry" but she can do it. Maybe if she is successful, she will try PT for her back pain.

I have been busier at work, which is a good thing. I've been cooking more, also a good thing but a time suck, especially the cleaning up. I'm thinking it would be nice to make a trip to the beach, any beach, and meditate to the sound of the waves. Picture downward dog in the sand.

What have you been up to?

Socially challenged

I now have three friends on Faceb00k. Or is it four? Earlier today I could not get the stupid thing to update my status (and I had a darn clever status to post too!) and then one of my three/four friends started a chat and I didn't feel like chatting but what are you going to do?

And THEN my PC locked up. For the first time ever. I have had this laptop for about three years and have never had any problems with it. Until Faceb00k.

Tonight I tried to find more friends, people I would really enjoy getting in touch with, but apparently they are all a bunch of Luddites. Or have more interesting things to do with their lives than get involved with a time suck like FB.

Otherwise, it has been a lovely day.